Pre-Conditions

I've been doing lots of accessing lately on what I'm calling "pre-conditions" -- they're like tendencies toward conditions and they're somehow connected to the pathologies that you have a tendency toward. There seem to be a couple of words that give access to these: my word that I access is "balance." Now what I'm seeing that this means is that the conditions that I have are conditions about striking a balance. It also means that the pathologies and immune dysfunctions that I'm likely to take for my own are those having to do in some strange way with "balance."

Here's what I mean: here are the conditions that I continue to work out:

money and time: for me, they have been bound together in a pathological way. I have found value in being "working-class" and now I see that that itself is a condition (not just w-c, but all simple "identifications"). I conditionally push money and the "easy way" away from myself, somehow thinking that the harder way is more valuable. Maybe the word "justice" is more useful here, and this is a word I also get connected to "balance."

 

I should stop at this time and say that it's not the word "balance" per se that I access, but a visual of scales. When I attempt to interpret that, I access the words "balance" and "justice" -- which is not to say that I don't have these things in my life; it's more that I have a genetic kind of pre-disposition to give these things an inordinate amount of attention, whether it's due to forethinking, hindsight, or simply events working out in my life so that they become huge (unbalanced) consumptions of resources. So, on to the next thing.

I guess that most of the other conditions that I'm working out are connected to either money or time, and those two are so strongly interwoven to me that they frequently manifest intersections. One condition that I'm in is that I'm always "busy." I value keeping busy, so I take on more than I can get done. But then I also will pitter away whatever "off time" that I have in a pathological unconscious attempt to be busier later. It's like a part of me wants to feel sorry for myself for being so "put upon" -- this is where "justice" often plays out; it's "not fair" that I have to do *so much* work. This is a crazy way of thinking, considering it's me that brought all of the work on myself. There seems to be an underlying warrent that good people work hard; constructed on top of that is that others should work as hard as I do. The pathology of this is that *I'm judging* that they don't, when really I don't know anything about most other peoples' lives. So: judging and justice.

 

The next thing then I want to do is look at pathologies that I've accessed that I have tendencies for: this is what I'm getting out of doing this work in the first place. I'll start by naming herpes simplex -- this was the first thing I cured with Immunics, and the reason that I came to do this work on pre-conditions.

I joined a herpes group a couple of weeks ago with the intent to eradicate with members of that group. But when I go to test each email that they send out about which of those senders I should contact about Immunics, I get "none." I'm not testing switched when I do this, so it made me access on why I continually get that response email after email. And I came up with this:

People who contract herpes have, in the same kind of way that I've had, a pre-condition concerning justice and balance. Some of them believe that they "deserve" to have herpes, some of them that they didn't "deserve" to have herpes. Now my pre-condition never manifested over herpes; my pre-condition manifested herpes lip sores when I felt that I didn't deserve something ELSE that was going on in my life. In other words, for me, herpes simplex was a symptom of being put-upon in some other way. I would get outbreaks when I felt that I was being taken advantage of; when I felt that I was disregarding my own health because I was taking care of things that other people or situations were making me put ahead of myself. So the "justice" for me was working out so that when I felt injustice towards me, I would have a herpes outbreak.

The people who have so far sent emails to the group, however, seem not to see herpes as the symptom, but as the cause. So I've not really had the time (haha, there's my condition again) to sit down and think about how to deal with people who see herpes as their "cause" -- especially as I test that it's a condition of justice or balance that keeps herpes alive and active.

Now all of this may be just so much intellectualizing, and my conditions may be making me test that none of those people are the ones I should contact. What I still haven't done is attempt to access the members list of the group to test from there. (why haven't I done that when that's exactly the way that Greg says to do it? Why do I even *look* at the emails? I think that I thought that it would work fine to do it this way -- let them come to me, so to speak. But how many pathological emails did I need to test before I realized that that's not the way? Maybe I'm conducting my research on a biased sample: those who are "coming forward" with herpes may be those whose conditions make them manifest herpes as a cause. So if I'm testing the emails for whom to write, I'll never get a "yes" since the ones I should write to don't manifest it as a cause.... Or something like that.

Anyway, a bit more about pathologies and immune dysfuctions that I'm testing pre-conditions for -- again, simply enough, these are "balance" issues -- diabetes; lung cancer (I get that I nipped that in the bud when I gave up smoking so long ago); ovarian problems (cancer and cysts); etc. The things that I test for are all things that are happening in organs that have pairs: balance. Or they are, like diabetes, pathologies of imbalance.

So this is leading me to believe that all of us have "pre-conditions" -- something working at the RNA or DNA level that predisposes us toward certain conditions and pathologies. And that's about as far as I've gotten with it!