working through negative beingness

After convo with Bayard last night, we identified negative beingness as the real issue; I'll post later some of the many symptoms that are the giveaway even tho' neither of us could test me for it.

This morning, on the website, I tested to look at "ghoul" and then the description is eerily accurate. So: dealing with past life deaths, which has been an issue for me already in the balance deal of fair/unfair that I identified on the cure show earlier.

So I got to the particle index assignment. I had balanced particles before I did the index, then I decided to just test the numbers without looking at what they were for.

If you want to do this too, you'll have four sets of numbers, 16 in the first set, then 13 in each of the other three sets.

So here are the numbers I generated and what they signify (from the "Particle attributes" list on the website): http://www.immunics.org/.
The first number is the optimal, the second number is the actual.

Orientation - how you relate to the world
(2007) (168) apparency
(580) (450) arrangeability
(78) (267) chaos tolerance
(800+) (500) charge (balance +/-)
(1250) (1160) danger
(12,000) (1500) eccentricity
(782) (967) exposure
(450) (450) influence
() could not test? () inquisitiveness
(750) (480) intelligence
(1230) (1270) methodicalness
(670) (700) mutability
(900) (1500) recognition
(1200) (810) specialness
(1400) (800) time tolerance
(760) (900) volatility

Collision - how you react to events
(760) (540) absorption
(800) (710) adhesion
(431) (550) assimilation
(72) (430) caring
(880) (710) constancy
(515) (525) event horizon
(1500) (1780) exit speed
(432) (650) gentleness (non-coerciveness)
(47) (60) integrity
(1710) (1710) permeability
(270) (310) viability (pass through)
(580) (500) will
(750) (720) withhold

Operation - how you cope or deal with large issues
(1510) (1300) clearability
(750) (650) compatibility
(1200) (1050) discrimination
(650) (680) energy discharge (burn rate)
(1200) (1250) energy state
(720) (740) gravity
(860) (820) intuitiveness
(900) (720) latency
(1100) (860) perception
(680) (650) selectivity
(520) (480) strength transfer
(700) (700) tendency
(815) (840) transmutability (adaptability)

Destiny - what you are capable of being/becoming
(15,000) (1800) attentiveness
(1242) (1070) cognizance
(4300) (<100) diplomacy
(1500) (1200) endearment
(7500) (9000) emotion
(48) (75) memory
(2700) (1580) originality
(10,000) (12,000) recognizability
(1800) (1670) savoir faire
(5100) (1850) tenacity
(2700) (2500) tropism (God awareness)
(1420) (1470) vision
(3200) (5100) workability