You Know It's Evil

Starting up this new blog to use as I work through my daily Harmonics and Immunics questions. If you're here as a reader, I'll point you to the "Resources" links, particularly the Immunics link.

I'm currently working through skill 11 -- "What's Your Life About?" The particular thing I'm giving some attention to today is the issue of "Choice": choosing God or choosing maya, "maya" being defined as the sense world of illusion.

The "essence of maya is aloneness," the Immunics website tells us. This is something that I hadn't thought deeply about in *maya* before -- the illusion of "aloneness" and "freedom."

After having lived alone for so many years, I perceived that the biggest challenges of this newest phase of my life would be for me to return to the area where I grew up and move back in with my mother, who has MS and whose partner of 23 years died.

I had loved living alone -- I slept when I liked, ate what I liked when I liked, and often went for days without speaking to any other living humans except the folks who ran my local groceries, and maybe my closest neighbors every couple of days.

I'd spent the last couple of years undergoing a major transformation of energy in my life, witnessing some miraculous stuff, coming to terms with a few aspects of reality that I hadn't faced before when I was "distracted" by living with others. I meditated constantly and spent a great deal of my time in prayer. But there came a time when I knew that that time was over: it was time to "rejoin" society.

My early attempts at this were faltering and difficult; I went out in public feeling more like an open wound than a human being. I began to work on shielding and protection, but I continued to believe that I would have to live alone in order to do the work I felt I'd been called to do.

Then my mother's partner died, and so now I'm living with others again. And as I said, I expected that to be a real challenge. But contrary to what I expected, and although I don't really have it down as to how and when to best help out and when to get "my own" work done -- the dissertation looms large now as summer begins -- the fact of the matter is that I really enjoy having this time with my family.

I've missed them immensely living so far away, and there's no place else I'd rather be. Even living here in this small town again has been comforting and makes me feel that I'm "home" in more ways than one.

That feeling that I needed so much time alone is slowly evaporating -- and this is what I find myself thinking about as I work through this lesson on choosing maya or choosing God. All along, I thought that I was choosing God -- I wouldn't have chosen otherwise. But beyond a certain amount of time that I think it WAS beneficial to be on my own, I have to agree with Mark Knopfler's Dire Straits line: "you know it's evil when you're living alone."

And now I'm understanding in more advanced ways how we live as parts of communities; how we learn to live in God and continue our work with God even when surrounded by others; and how we learn to have selves that don't exist in isolation. We NEVER really exist in isolation from other people, and I understand now how thinking that we should and can was *maya* -- "illusion" ::::: "illusion" that leads *away* from God; away from right action, right speech, right thought, and right way.

So as an extension and celebration of this new understanding, I've also today agreed to help moderate on the Immunics lists. And in this way, I continue to add to a busy life and yet continue to find time for the important things.

Time to get ready for bed! I'm also learning to have a better relationship with Time; but more about this later!

peace on earth to those of good will!